Last night at CREW, Pastor Erik talked about imagining everything that we want for our future. He mentioned that when we were little, our dreams and future expectations were virtually endless; and now that we are older, we think that those dreams are impossible because of how the world is with certain standards and whatnot.
During worship time, I really asked God to put a dream into my heart. It didn’t come last night, but I felt that I was predestined to do something in my life that would stretch me and change others for the good.
This morning, I had a half day at school, and my dad took me out to lunch at Lone Star. Pretty much out of nowhere he mentioned that a lady at his church that has the gift of prophecy walked up to him and started praying and prophesying over him and my family.
My family recently started a ministry(Katie’s Comfort Ministry). During this woman’s prophecy, she mentioned me speaking to youth groups and people my age about my sister’s testimony and story, and how God brought me through her passing.
When my dad said that, I immediately thought back to last night when I was pleading for God to put a dream into my heart. I truly believe that this is it. I really want God to touch teens through me. There is such a healing that takes place when we understand that God has a purpose for all things, even the especially hard ones.
I don’t know where it will start, and I don’t know when, but I am excited to what God is going to do, even if I still need to get over my stage fright and all.:)
This dream to me still seems a little bit “out there”, but I know that with God all things are possible.
God has been showing me lately that He is the only one capable of satisfying my whole being. Nothing in this world can fill the deep longing inside of me. Though the menu choices are very appetizing, I know that they won’t be the best for me after I eat them. The thing that needs to fill my body is the deep consuming fire that the Lord has to offer.
I recently went to a Tenth Avenue North concert. There are a new-ish band. Usually Christian bands have the same appeal. They have songs that are good for a couple of months, but after that they don’t resonate in your heart. This group’s songs are different. This band is the first one that ever had songs that seemed like they were written just for me. One of their songs called “Satisfy” is what sums up my desire for God to satisfy me completely.
Here is the link for the song(both the words and music are on this video):
I love to read poetry. One of my cousins loaned me a book called The Best Loved Poems of the American People that belonged to my late great aunt. This book was published in 1936. It is incredible to read literature from decades ago.
This is one of the poems that I came across:
Be The Best of Whatever You Are
By Douglas Malloch
“If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley-but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass-
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here,
There’s big work to do, and there’s lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of whatever you are!”
Many of us want to be important and have high positions in society. While those dreams aren’t bad, we need to help with the little things as well. Without the behind-the-scenes work, this world wouldn’t be running the way it is.
So embrace the opportunities you are given even if they seem like menial tasks. Every little deed you do makes a difference in somebody’s life.
“If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”
Just as Mordecai told Esther that she was placed where she was for such a time as this, I believe that God is telling me and you that we are placed where we are right now for such a time as this. Every hurt and every twinge of pain is there for a reason. Nothing is by accident.
When you feel like giving up or breaking down, remember that God will use your trials and tribulations for good.
It’s hard to believe I am finally a “big kid”. Ever since I was in kindergarten, high school seemed so far away and impossible.
Now that I’m finally there, It’s crazy. I’m totally in a new environment. I’ve always been in a sheltered school and family, but it seems like I’ve been placed into the real world all of a sudden. Everything that I’ve learned in church my entire life, all of the Bible lessons in the morning in grammar school, every piece of advice given to me by my parents- they all come into play right now. It’s times like these that I feel very alone, but it’s times like these that I feel most comforted and strengthened.
I may not give into pressures from peers and I may not speak the way teens my age do. I may not take on the same philosophies or world views as my teachers. I may be very different, and I may be very judged- but that’s okay with me.
During Winter Retreat ’08, my small group leader mentioned to my friends that when people in the world judge us, it doesn’t matter. It will not effect us in the long run.
The only judgment that matters for us is God’s. At the end of time, when the world as we know it ceases to exist, all that will matter is God. All the pain and trouble that we go through, all the judgment and criticism we face will be brought to an end.
For me, I’d much rather be held blameless before God when I stand before His throne than stray away from His plan for my life and be accepted by others.
May we never lose sight of the prize at the end of the race.
Beauty is the fresh dew on a blooming flower
It is realizing that God, not us, has all-knowing power
Beauty is finding a miracle in every ending day,
The sunset beaming through the clouds, exuding its strong rays
Beauty is slowing down through a busy day to stop and smell a blossoming rose
It is discovering that you can stand on a peak even when there are endless lows
Beauty is loving people of all sorts of races
It is finding a fresh new joy in all different places
Beauty is starting over once more, even if you don’t succeed
It is finding time each hectic day to simply stop and read
Beauty is caring so very much to make other people smile
Even if doing so is an inconvenience to you all the while
Beauty is learning to cherish each moment, as swift as life goes by
It is laughing and beaming and dancing and shouting and not being timid to cry
Beauty is not looking down on others, though unfortunate they may be
It is having the courage to stand up for your faith and not just turning to flee
But most important beauty is letting God control your life
Submitting to Him each and every day, so as not to create strife
It is trusting and following His plan for you, no matter how especially thorny
Beauty is pursuing through the storms and finding delight in the morning
July 9, 2008
11:25 AM CT
I cannot believe I am already graduated and heading to high school. It seems like just yesterday I graduated from kindergarten. It’s amazing how fast time flies.
But going to high school…it seems impossible. I have this amazing longing to touch souls while I’m in school next year, and all the years after that. It’s something I really can’t describe. I feel like God is on the verge of doing something amazing with the youth; I can feel it. I just want to be a vessel that He works through.
Please pray for me to be bold.