Letting Go.

I cannot believe I was an Evangel Founder’s candidate a whole year ago already. I will never forget the jitters I had the morning of the interviews. So many jitters. I could barely sleep the night before–and barely eat breakfast the morning of. So much was riding on these interviews–my hopes and dreams for the future. Since I was a pre-teen, I had dreamt of attending Evangel and used to rehearse the Founder’s Day questions listed on the school’s website (A little nerdy, I know).

Through the group interviews, individual interview, scrumptious lunch, and enlightening conversations, I had a whirlwind of a Founder’s Day. Above all, I was beyond anxious for the results I would find out in a few short days. Checking my e-mail frequently, I finally received the e-mail about whether or not I had received a scholarship. Clicking on it with the weight of the world on my pointer finger, I found out that I had not received a Founder’s scholarship. My heart literally sank. This was MY dream. What in the world was I to do next?

My heart needed to go through a process. A process of LETTING GO. After finding out that I would not get the financial help that I needed to attend Evangel, I anxiously tried to explore the other options available to me. Still, I was holding on to what I could muster together to create my perfect future. However, one afternoon in March, I felt impressed by God to write about the waiting process of His plan, a concept I had just begun to realize. (http://lauraprosapio.blogspot.com/2012/03/waiting.html) In that moment of writing down my struggles during a time of not knowing God’s plan, it hit me that I must worship during the times of the most difficult waiting periods. Whether God gives or takes away, I must BLESS His name–trusting that He will accomplish HIS plan for my life, whether or not I envision His plan for my life.

After posting this blog entry and feeling a perfect peace about the timing God had for my life, I received an e-mail from Evangel–just 20 minutes later! In the title, it mentioned something about a scholarship change. Interested, I clicked on the message. Within moments of reading the first few lines of the e-mail, I discovered that I had been an alternate for the Founder’s half scholarship, and that I was now being offered the scholarship. I was speechless. Could this be the answer in the midst of my waiting, the “sign” in the middle of my search for an answer?

As the weeks passed, I could not escape the overwhelming peace I experienced when pondering Evangel. And it was a different kind of excitement than when I had come to interview for Founder’s in February with MY plan in mind. Instead, my excitement lay in the truth that God had brought me through a period of intense waiting in order to teach me that He will provide exactly what I need, exactly WHEN I need it.

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